Friday, November 23, 2012

I have to learn how to say no and not feel bad about it. I have to. Fast...

Monday, October 29, 2012

Happiness is all around. You just have to shed your inhibitions and let go. I've been in a 'not-happy-not-sad' phase for quite some time now. I think most people spend most of their lives in that state.
 I guess God finally said 'Enough!' and made me more happy than I've been in a long time. I met one of my favorite people in the world. A family friend whose kids I've grown up playing with. we spoke for just 15 minutes, reminiscing the old times. She told me that she's extremely proud of me. As we went our separate ways I realized that I've actually led a very good life.  We just let our problems become bigger than us, surround us and block our vision. Happiness is just around the corner.
                God has the most ingenious plans ever. Plans that are bigger than mine, grander beyond my imagination.

It's a good life. :)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


How do you know whether the decision you're going to take is right or not? How am I supposed to know?? I wish they were some tool or some machine or a time travelling thingy or whatever that could help me decide!!!
   I mean you could weigh the pros and cons and you could ask people who've gone through the same situation before but in spite of all that I could be wrong, right? Murphy's law anyone??

  In times like these I usually go to my mom and rant. I tell her everything and don't really explain it to her. I just blurt everything out, everything I know and tell her the shaky decision I've made. And then whatever she says, even if she has no idea about any of it, I just go with it. Once something gets my mom's seal of approval, it is just right.
This just happened now. I went and woke up my sleeping mom and said stuff and she sleepily said ' yes, do that' and that just relaxed me. I don't know how. Now I just know that's what I'm going to do. So yeah.


Thursday, October 4, 2012

जब नाव जल में छोड़ दी ,
तूफ़ान ही में मोड दी ,
दे दी चुनौती सिंधु को ,
तो पार क्या मजधार क्या .........

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Ohh my God!!!!Chris Hemsworth is SO hot!!!!! *faint*

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

So the initial excitement of college getting done and me finally being free is over. Now begins the drivel about 'What next?'. And while I thought I'd be scared of the question, turns out I'm not. I'm quite loving the limited-hour work and having the rest of the day to myself.

         While it won't be wrong to say that I've always been a slight loner, I have definitely never ever been more isolated. And guess what, I don't mind at all! All through internship we spoke about how much we'd miss college and each other and how things will suddenly change when there'll be nothing to do! While there are people doing nothing and there are others who've started working full fledged-ly, I think I'm really lucky to have the best of both worlds. I get a lot of practice where I work and it's only 4 hours.

           So yeah, what I really want to drone about is how I'm quite loving the being alone thing. There have been so many things I've wanted to do since forever but never had the time! There was so much I wanted to sort out for myself, so much to think, so much to figure out but all that took a backseat. And now I finally have the time. 

1. Cook. I LOVE cooking. More like experimenting. I've already tried 3 new recipes in the past month and they weren't too shabby at all! :D I made 'baingan ka bharta' thrice in two weeks and made my sister ate more eggplant than she had in her entire life, so I guess I'm not making that for some time now. :) Then I also made gulabjamuns, which were good too. Mum was sooooper happy. Then the latest was a mushroom dish that was a little spicy but we are Konkanis, nothing is too spicy for us!! :)

2. Learn prayers. I have always wanted to know the 'Hanuman Chalisa' by heart. I've learnt a little bit and I'll probably know the whole thing soon enough. :) Also all the different aartis and bhajans. I feel the power of prayers is underestimated. They have such a capacity to energise and fire up the innate spirituality in a person. Even if you don't know the words or know the words but don't know the meaning, just singing along gives you a high. Although I know some aartis, I want to know so many more.

3. Watch movies. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to watch Salman Khan crap or the likes. I adore old`world cinema. And by old, I don't mean ancient. I mean movies that touch you. That weren't just about making money. So I've seen 'To kill a mockingbird' with Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch ( now that is a hero!), 'The diary of a young girl', the 1959 version with Millie Perkins as Anne Frank, 'Little Women' with Winona Ryder and a few more. I can't watch a lot of movies cuz there's a lot of studying to do but I'm gonna catch up once in a while.

4. Give a shot to cleanliness. I'm a stickler for cleanliness at work but I overcompensate for it at home. My room is THE messiest room in the world ( though I never lose a thing! :/). Whenever anyone in my family can't find anything, the first place to look is my room. In fact every time our 'officials' lose important documents, they should look in my room. If my father is to be believed, they sure have a good chance of finding them there. :) 

5. Block negativity. I'm going to intentionally and conciously block out all the negative people and the negativity they bring in my life. There is a lot of positive energy in the world and so many good people but we often get occupied with negativity and trying to figure out a reason for it that we turn our back to the good. Five years back I was sure of myself, of who I am. Through college, I've gone through so many phases of self-doubt, misery, depression etc. Everyone does. So did I. But I'm no longer the person I was. I'm not as strong-headed. I'm surprised by the things I think sometimes or by the way I react to situations. I want to find myself again.I want to find happiness in little things like I did before. I want my peace again.

6. Gratitude. Though I know that I'm more grateful a person than most people I know, I think there is more. Like today when I was walking to the clinic, it was raining hard. If it was last year, I would have cursed the rain, but today I was smiling all the way to the clinic. The beautiful weather, the greenery, my beautiful colony and my good fortune to have been able to be in that moment and be happy. And that made me realize that I'm still the same person somewhere. There are times when I get overwhelmed at how God has been so kind to me as to give me such amazing people in my life, to give me everything I've ever wanted. I've a great life and I wouldn't swap it with anyone for all the wealth in the world. I'm counting my blessings and guess what....they're countless. :)

So these are some of the things. :) There's so much more but it's 1 a.m. and I'm so not a night person. :)
Till next time....

Thursday, August 9, 2012


End of an era.......
Five years and I'm finally, officially a dentist. I  have absolutely no idea where and how the past five years flew by. I still remember my first day like it were yesterday. That bloke, Einstein sure knew what he was talking about when he suggested Relativity. The nervousness, I can still feel it when I think back. I've never been one to go up to strangers and get talking and make acquaintance. It takes me a long time to get comfortable with someone, even longer to actually be friends.
 So anyways, my point is I  don't really feel that it's been that long a time, though it's about half a decade. But when I see the amount of change in myself, five years become more or less believable.

             I have often wondered what the point of life is ( pretty deep, huh!.;)). If everyone has to die in the end, what does it matter how we have lived? Nobody is going to remember! A few brilliant people are probably remembered for many many years after they've gone but the rest just go away. That is why till sometime back, I wanted to do something 'worthwhile', something that people will remember me by, you know, something huge! I wanted to be remembered hundreds of years after I was gone. That had stressed me out for so long!

               But after a while, the daily humdrum pushed my 'deep' thinking to the back of my mind and I didn't give it much thought.....until now. And guess what! I no longer feel the same way and that took me by surprise because nothing 'significant' happened to make me change my belief. So that is where the growing up part comes in. In three of the past five years, we've worked on patients. More so in the last year. And though some of them were experiences I wouldn't want again, most have been really really satisfying.

               There is this patient of mine, a lady in her 5th decade, who stays about 4 hours away from the hospital, whose tooth I had extracted last October. She was very apprehensive but the procedure went smoothly and she was mighty relieved. Since then whenever she has come to the hospital for any procedure, she has always asked for me. She always gets me something she has cooked early in the morning and always meets me before going. She has told me so much about her family, personal things and always showers me with blessings. Then there is another patient, a girl about my age for whom I did a root canal on a front tooth. Her mother was worried sick because the girl is of marriageable age and the front tooth was a very visible hindrance in finding an alliance. The mother got so emotional and hugged me and took photos with me and invited me to her place.
These are just two of the innumerable instances where I managed to give so much happiness by just doing my job, where I didn't even go out of my way to help. The happiness you get is unimaginable. It surpasses any other joy. It's so much more than the happiness of topping an exam or your first salary or getting compliments or winning a coveted prize. Knowing that you eased someone's pain is such a high. And I think this is what changed everything. I realized that the effect I have on other people is so much more important to me than being remember for generations.
            All this might seem preachy but having experienced it, it's so true. Helping someone get over his fear in turn helps you get over yours. As the great Ralph Waldo Emerson said "It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life than no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself."  The answers to your questions lie in answering others' questions. Dwelling on our own problems makes them seem so much bigger than they really are but there'll always be someone somewhere who is having it worse and still surviving.
I found the answer to my question. It's a blessing in disguise that I've been chosen for such a profession. It was by chance that I got into dentistry but now looking back at the past five years, I can only say that there are no coincidences, just miracles. :)

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The struggle has just begun.....