Clarity is always desirable, in what you think, what you do and how do it. It's usually too late by the time a person realizes what he wants and all because he's 'too confused'. Now I may be saying this, but it may be really hard to find someone as confused as me. :) Being as spoiled for choice as me, it's not my fault that I am so confused. But this post is not about my confusion.
And so coming to the point, the question that has been hounding me for a long time now is who I want to be. With new experiences everyday, your idea about what you want your future life to be like keeps changing and for a person as confused as I am, it changes many times in a single day. But there are some solid points where I have been pretty firm and very confident.
1. I want to move. This sounds odd, everyone I have told this too sure found it odd. But I have always been shit scared of the thought of being at one place all my life. And surprisingly, the profession I chose sort of demands me to be at one place. And this fact has me losing sleep for sometime now. Being a soon-to-be dentist, the general idea is to set up a clinic and go there EVERYDAY and do my stuff. I love what I do, I love treating patients, relieving their pain, but going to the SAME place e-v-e-r-y freaking day of my life freaks me out. I have no idea what I'm going to do about this.:(
2. I want to stay right here in my country. Now this is a highly debatable topic. Although in my ideal world there would be no different countries, in the real world there are. And when you are living in a developing country like India, I think it is the moral duty of every person to give back to the society. There are people in our country who need us, for whom we could make lives easier. The standard of living in the West, the money and the general sophistication are of course alluring factors but when you have spent your childhood using resources our country provided, you just cannot go and serve people for whom it would make no difference whether it's you or the next person. There is plenty to do in our country to last a person 10 lifetimes. The cream of our nation goes away and that is one of the reasons why India is what it is. Me staying here will not make my county prosperous suddenly but atleast I'll help people for whom I may as well be the only source of help.
3. I want my freedom. God gave all of us our own lives to live. I hate it when people try to dictate someone else's life. People must have the freedom to say whatever they want to till they don't hurt another's sentiments. People must have the freedom to go wherever they like, to stay wherever they like, regardless of whatever these pseudo-intellectual idiots who call themselves protectors of a language say. People must have the freedom to live their lives the way they want to, regardless of the norms of the society. People must have the freedom to be what they want to be, family and friends notwithstanding. Unless and until a person is not causing any harm to another individual or to nature, he should be completely free.
4. I want to see everything there is to see. I want my eyes to see every place on the planet. Now this is almost an impossible wish but I want to fulfill it as far as I can. 21 years of my life have already gone and I have hardly seen anything. There are such beautiful places all over the planet, so many of them right here in my city, my state and my country and I want to see them all. I have this habit of leaving a part of me every different place I go. It may sound stupid but I try leaving something, like a strand of hair or a chip of my nail or maybe the seed of a fruit I ate, that would stay in that place forever. So even if I never go back there or when I die, a part of me stays on in that place forever.
5. I want to meet Abdul Kalam. Recently there was a rumor that he had expired. I remember the exact place and time when my friend told me this, I remember what I was doing, I remember stopping and my eyes brimming with tears. But thankfully the news was false :). The man is my idol. His simplicity, his intelligence, his humility and his 'simple living, high thinking' way of life is very very inspiring to me.
6. I want to work. I want to work tirelessly. I have been chosen for something so noble as treating people. I want to treat as many people as I possibly can. I never ever want to turn anyone away without helping him in some form. I believe no work is small or big. A sweeper's job has as much dignity as a doctor's. Work is work, work is worship. And whatever you do, if you put sincerity, dedication and hard work into it, it is the highest form of prayer possible.
The rest is still subject to modification. I hope I get blessed with clarity soon so I can figure out what I want.