Anyone who has read most posts on my blog, and I suspect there is only one person to have done that and that's me, would know that I have and do ramble a lot about being happy and finding happiness. As someone who knows no moderation when it comes to feeling, I've been running after happiness for many years, without success. I've tried everything and yet I have never been in a continued state of being happy, ever. This is not to say that my life sucks, infact I have pretty much everything that is required for a comfortable and should've-been-happy life. There have been times when I've been insanely 'happy' but that never lasts.
And then, all of a sudden, matters of bigger importance took over and my 'Pursuit of Happyness' took a backseat. The year of 2013 presented two extreme phases in its two halves. I faced the most crushing failure I've faced in my young life and then, in the latter half, I found what I was looking for all these years. 1st July, 2013 was the day the rest of my life began. I was on the road to my salvation, without even knowing it. I discovered things about myself I never knew. In a place away from all the added comforts of a television, a PC, internet, friends, with just the basic needs of a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on, I found God.
I've always been a hard-working person. It is in my DNA. But what I did in those 6 months wasn't hard work, it never felt like work. I read and I read but never did it feel like I was doing something foreign or something that required energy. The one time I did not approach something with the purpose of looking for happiness, well, my idea of it anyway, I found it. I spent those months only studying. It was only books, no family, no friends, no hobbies, nothing. But what I didn't realise was that while I was putting my everything into the purpose in front of me, I was also cleansing my mind unconsciously. My anger, my ever-present anger disappeared. My anger, that had even alienated me from my family, left me. My complaints, so many of them, stopped being complaints at all. I got lighter and I felt it. All the baggage I had been carrying around for no reason disappeared my no conscious effort on my part.
I felt God again. After all these years, I felt His presence. I felt it everywhere I went. Even when I was lying on my bed, waiting for sleep to come, I could feel this incredible energy filling me up and brimming over. And there was no materialistic reason for it. There was nothing to attribute it to. It just was. It just is.
That is what, I then realised, is Happiness. True happiness won't depend on things that you acquire or experiences that you have. True happiness just is. And that is my proof , for God. But this isn't proof that I can give to someone. It is to be achieved and earned and experienced.
And then, all of a sudden, matters of bigger importance took over and my 'Pursuit of Happyness' took a backseat. The year of 2013 presented two extreme phases in its two halves. I faced the most crushing failure I've faced in my young life and then, in the latter half, I found what I was looking for all these years. 1st July, 2013 was the day the rest of my life began. I was on the road to my salvation, without even knowing it. I discovered things about myself I never knew. In a place away from all the added comforts of a television, a PC, internet, friends, with just the basic needs of a roof over my head and a bed to sleep on, I found God.
I've always been a hard-working person. It is in my DNA. But what I did in those 6 months wasn't hard work, it never felt like work. I read and I read but never did it feel like I was doing something foreign or something that required energy. The one time I did not approach something with the purpose of looking for happiness, well, my idea of it anyway, I found it. I spent those months only studying. It was only books, no family, no friends, no hobbies, nothing. But what I didn't realise was that while I was putting my everything into the purpose in front of me, I was also cleansing my mind unconsciously. My anger, my ever-present anger disappeared. My anger, that had even alienated me from my family, left me. My complaints, so many of them, stopped being complaints at all. I got lighter and I felt it. All the baggage I had been carrying around for no reason disappeared my no conscious effort on my part.
I felt God again. After all these years, I felt His presence. I felt it everywhere I went. Even when I was lying on my bed, waiting for sleep to come, I could feel this incredible energy filling me up and brimming over. And there was no materialistic reason for it. There was nothing to attribute it to. It just was. It just is.
That is what, I then realised, is Happiness. True happiness won't depend on things that you acquire or experiences that you have. True happiness just is. And that is my proof , for God. But this isn't proof that I can give to someone. It is to be achieved and earned and experienced.
